Three Thursday "What the Fucks?"

Here's the first of what may never be a series of installments I like to call "What the fucks?" Without further adieu.....

1. A couple nights ago ESPN 2 was showing Super Bowl XXX2. Nope, I don't know why, and I didn't watch it.

2. The St. Louis Cardinals have like 8 outfielders........but no closer. Here's an idea: trade one of those 8 outfielders, so you can give the guys deserving of 450-600 ABs ABs, for a closer. So then you have a closer, cause those are good. And shit....throw in Skip Shumaker too so that you can get a real second baseman. Oh, and call up Joe Mather out of sheer principle (I went to middle school with him and his dad was a bit too "friendly" with the 7th grade girls he taught, if you know what I mean). He's got power, and a sicko dad who never taught again and had to move to Arizona after that all went down. Although his dad said that it would be good to have me (a tall, lanky, left hander) pitching for the high school team (he was the coach). Unfortunately my coaches never taught me how to throw a breaking ball, or even how to grip a changeup. Thus....my complete shelling at the hands of the Bonners Ferry High School Badgers during my freshman year. Yep, never pitched again. You could say I was effectively wild, but there was nothing effective about it. Would have helped to have a curveball that was also non-effectively wild.

3. Todd Bertuzzi is in the NHL? Didn't fucking kill a guy on the ice? Or maybe paralyze the dude? Oh well, him and the Flames won last night, so I'm down with that.

Girls of March Madness

With the NCAA men’s basketball tournament concluding last night with another yawn-fest of a game (it seems like the championship game has become the biggest blowout of the tournament the last couple years, last year’s Memphis collapse withstanding) I thought it would be important to reflect on the most important aspects of the tournament.

Hottest girls of March Madness:

4. Girl from the Lowe’s commercial. There’s something about the way those khaki pants fit her in the back, if you know what I mean.



3. USC Song Girl cheerleaders. Thank God Tim Floyd remained at SC if only to keep the Trojans tournament regulars for years to come.















2. UCLA cheerleaders. The Song Girls may be tops in football, but when it comes to the hardcourt no one does it better (heh heh, he said hard).















1. The redhead from the Enterprise Rent-A-Car commercials. That look she gives when she asks, “Red or black (lingerie)?” is mesmerizing. Unfortunately her dolt of a husband gives the wrong answer. The correct answer is “Neither because we’re not going to need clothes where we’re going.” Then just bring one of your baseball jerseys or a button up shirt and that’s all that’s needed for a sexy weekend with the misses.















Who am I missing?

Stupid Clark Kellogg Quote of the Night

These two beauties courtesy of legendary CBS basketball colorman Clark Kellogg from tonight's NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game:

1. North Carolina is a great example of team spurtability.

2. Tyler Hansbrough just gave that guy a lower body root canal.

God, Clark Kellogg's a dumbass.

Suck on it Memphis and Kentucky

Looks like the #1 high school basketball prospect Xavier Henry, who had signed with Memphis, will now almost certainly sign with KU next year as a result of Calipari taking the Kentucky job. Damn, we are going to be awesome next year.