Three Thursday "What the Fucks?"

Here's the first of what may never be a series of installments I like to call "What the fucks?" Without further adieu.....

1. A couple nights ago ESPN 2 was showing Super Bowl XXX2. Nope, I don't know why, and I didn't watch it.

2. The St. Louis Cardinals have like 8 outfielders........but no closer. Here's an idea: trade one of those 8 outfielders, so you can give the guys deserving of 450-600 ABs ABs, for a closer. So then you have a closer, cause those are good. And shit....throw in Skip Shumaker too so that you can get a real second baseman. Oh, and call up Joe Mather out of sheer principle (I went to middle school with him and his dad was a bit too "friendly" with the 7th grade girls he taught, if you know what I mean). He's got power, and a sicko dad who never taught again and had to move to Arizona after that all went down. Although his dad said that it would be good to have me (a tall, lanky, left hander) pitching for the high school team (he was the coach). Unfortunately my coaches never taught me how to throw a breaking ball, or even how to grip a changeup. Thus....my complete shelling at the hands of the Bonners Ferry High School Badgers during my freshman year. Yep, never pitched again. You could say I was effectively wild, but there was nothing effective about it. Would have helped to have a curveball that was also non-effectively wild.

3. Todd Bertuzzi is in the NHL? Didn't fucking kill a guy on the ice? Or maybe paralyze the dude? Oh well, him and the Flames won last night, so I'm down with that.