MLB's Role in Reducing the Stigma of Mental Illness?

As ravid baseball fans are no doubt aware of (or maybe not) Khalil Greene, of the St. Louis Cardinals, is on the DL with not a physical injury, but for social anxiety disorder. In a similar situation, Dontrelle Willis also spent time on the DL this year for another mental illness (can't remember what). These are the first two instances in which I've ever heard of players going on the DL or missing games due to mental illness, although I'm sure it has happened before (a little help?). As one who is very familiar with mental illness I can attest to a social stigma, especially attached to men, that exists against mental illness, as well as its debilitating effect on one's ability to even take care of themselves, let alone successfully perform at their occupation at a consistently high level. I find Greene and Willis' stints on the DL with the cause fully disclosed kind of refreshing, especially given the tough-guy, invincible, controlled masculinity that's so espoused in professional sports in the United States. Will acknowledging that one's performance on the field, or whatever the competitive enviornment, has lessened due to mental illness totally reduce the stigma against mental illness? Probably not. Will it help? Probably. But one thing is for sure: it's nice to see athletes admitting their condition and not having the press (as far as I know) trashing them.

A Conversation on the Detroit Red Wings Playoff Octopus

Ok, so over the last few weeks I've been watching about as much NHL playoff hockey as one can. And while I've always been pretty knowledgeable about hockey, had seen lots of it on tv and in person and had played as a youth in Alaska, one area I am not too knowledgeable about is the tradition of throwing an Octopus on the ice when Detroit is in the playoffs. What follows is an email conversation between yours truly and Hubka re: the Detroit playoff octopus.

Fish: Lindsey Soto was very enjoyable last night, but only in a visual standpoint, unfortunately.
I’m disappointed, Detroit won and there was no octopus on the ice. Perhaps that’s only if they win the title? I don’t know. Do you?

Hubka: The octopus is thrown on the ice before the start of the game. But it is thrown on the ice before every home playoff game.

Fish: See, that’s what happens when you are raised on college hockey and a really shitty semi-pro team in your town that’s in the middle of bumfuck Egypt Alaska with the nearest nhl franchise being Calgary and then not growing up with tv. I know hockey, just not the extra-game parts of the traditions and stuff- well, outside the playoff beards.

And here’s something I’ve always wondered: is there like a designated “octopus guy” who the people at the gates know to let in because his cooler is alright because it has a fucking octopus in it?

Yeah, love that shit

Hubka: Now that’s a question I do not know the answer to. I know they raised a big stink a couple years ago about who is designated to go out and pick the octopus up off the ice. It had always been the zamboni driver and he would twirl it around above his head on his way off the ice to get the crowd fired up. The NHL decided it didn’t like the idea of octopus tissue flying around it’s ice surface so it banned that altogether and told one of its linesmen to go pick it up. There were huge protests in Detroit and eventually the league compromised and let the zamboni guy go pick it up, but he isn’t allowed to twirl it until he is off the ice in the zamboni tunnel. There you go, more than you ever wanted/needed to know about a goofy hockey tradition.

Fish: Is there only one octopus per game? I mean I would love to be the guy who brings an octopus – I mean there’s got to be tons of people who want to be the octopus hurler, perhaps it’s first come first serve at the gates, and if you have an octopus and it’s too late, you have to check your octopus at the door, so to speak, like a coat check and you can get it on the way out.

Hubka: I’ve never considered that the team was in some way restricting octopus entry into Joe Louis Arena. I think for certain reasons the team as a corporation tries to stay out of it. I would guess that there are times when multiple octopi are thrown on the ice, but that for most of the fans they understand who it is who is the designated thrower. It’s probably some title passed down thru generations of Detroit hockey fans like some sick family heirloom. But these are all wild guesses. It would never occur to me in the first place to throw a dead sea creature onto the ice before a hockey game so I’m probably not the most qualified person to be speaking.

fast forward conversation to last night (game two of the nhl playoffs)

Fish: At the end of the second period right now with a faceoff for Detroit in the pittsburg zone with four seconds left someone threw an octopus on the ice. assuming there was one at the start of the game this leads me to believe that there are multiple octopi and that this is a very confusing tradition with a lot of ins and outs, a lot of strands running through the old duder's head. We need to find a Detroit red wing expert who can explain this shit to me.

And by the power of Wikipedia [I can't believe I'm using wikipedia - but it's not for school, so sue me], here is all the info you ever need on the Red Wing Octopus:

The "Legend of the Octopus" is a sports tradition during Detroit Red Wings playoff games, in which an octopus is thrown onto the ice surface [or just, ice] for good luck.
During the playoffs, Joe Louis Arena is generally adorned [passive voice] with a giant octopus with red eyes, nicknamed "Al" after Joe Louis Arena head ice manager Al Sobotka.

The 1952 playoffs featured the start of the tradition—the octopus throw [redundant]. The owner of a local fish market, Peter Cusimano, threw one from the stands onto the ice. The eight legs were purportedly symbolic of the eight wins it took to win the Stanley Cup at the time. The Red Wings went on to sweep both of their opponents that year en route to a Stanley Cup championship. The NHL has, at various times, tried to eliminate this tradition but it continues to this day.[citation needed] [see kids, this is why Wikipedia should not be used as a legitimate source, because they just make shit up and hope that there's a citation out there that backs up what they are saying]

There is a certain etiquette that must be followed for fans that [sic] wish to throw octopuses onto the ice. The most appropriate time to throw an octopus onto the ice is after the national anthem is sung or after the Red Wings have scored a goal. Under these circumstances, the eight-legged creature [aka: octopus] must be thrown onto the ice surface in an area that is clear of all players. It is never acceptable to aim for opposing players. Beforehand, octopuses are usually boiled to reduce the amount of "slime" coating and facilitate the time it takes to clean up the ice and prevent further delay. [see friends, not very well written at all] Since Joe Louis Arena does not condone the throwing of any foreign objects onto the ice, fans often sneak the sea creatures [also, aka: octopus] in wrapped around their bellies in trash bags. The boiling process also lessens the odor and allows the fans to get past security. Tactics are also used to protect the identity of octopus-throwers from arena security. It is common practice for the hurler to ask the surrounding people to stand up with him to shroud the task in anonymity.[citation needed] [for all my students out there: see - wikipedia = whack]

Al Sobotka is the man responsible for removing the thrown creatures [again, octopus, come on, brevity here people] from the ice. [not always - last night at the end of the second period a linesmen picked it up with a toewl, and the octopus before the game was picked up by someone who was not Al] He is known for swinging the tossed octopuses above his head when walking off the ice. On April 19, 2008, NHL director of hockey operations Colin Campbell sent a memo to the Detroit Red Wings organization that forbids Zamboni drivers from cleaning up any octopuses thrown onto the ice and that violating the mandate would result in a $10,000 fine.[20] Instead, it will be the linesmen who will perform this duty. In an email to the Detroit Free Press NHL spokesman Frank Brown justified the ban because "matter flies off the octopus and gets on the ice" when Al Sobotka does it.[21]This ban, however, was later loosened [can a ban be loosened?] to allow for the octopus twirling to take place at the zamboni entrance.

Softball uniforms: an unresearched (brief) history

Fish pointed out that the womens softball College World Series was starting this weekend. So I replied with what Fish feels is my "sickness" -- a treatise on softball uniforms in my lifetime. Just indulge me.

It’s interesting to me but it seems that the college softball uniforms have evolved over time. I remember as a kid when it was all UCLA v Arizona every year they wore basically scaled down versions of baseball uniforms without the hat: the short sleeve t-shirt top, the polyester baseball pants cuffed around the knee, and stirrups or socks. They basically looked like girls wearing baseball uniforms.

Then in the 90’s there was this transition to a softball-unique uniform combination: either short sleeve or banded sleeve shirts (almost tank tops), shorts, and socks. You still see this uniform combination in most youth leagues and high schools, likely because it’s cheaper to buy shorts than baseball pants. I don’t know for sure, but it’s like softball was trying to create an identity of it’s own with this uniform combination.

But then in the last ten years there has been this visual backlash and a pseudo-throwback revolution where most teams now wear baseball uniforms. I prefer the baseball uniforms myself. To me it adds legitimacy to the game they are playing, but that’s a personal opinion. And to be honest, the tight pants are one of the main reasons I end up watching the games.

Wearing white pants on the road: Why do some baseball teams do it?

College and high school teams will routinely wear white pants on the road. Watch the CWS this year and you’re bound to see at least one occurrence of both teams wearing white pants. I’m not sure why exactly, but I think rules only require they wear a different color top than the home team and it is at the home team’s discretion what color to wear. My guess is it is a cost saving measure. Get two different tops, one white, one solid color, and then only one pair of pants and you just saved outfitting your entire team with two completely different uniforms.

While generally a high school/college occurrence it isn’t unprecedented in major league baseball. The best example off the top of my head is the Astros. Throughout the last half of the 70s the Astros had only one uniform that they wore at home and one the road: the classic tequila sunrise uniform:

No other team had a combination like this so they were guaranteed to always be different no matter at home or on the road. Things got weirder in the 80s as the Astros added a different away uniform, but instead of being gray, it was cream. So at home they wore white and on the road cream.



For a better visual comparison than the pictures think the Dodgers crisp home whites versus the color the Giants wear at home, that more retro, cream color. As a kid I always thought this to be weird and I’ve never heard a good explanation (I mean the Astros played in the Astrodome for pete’s sake so it’s not like they were trying to avoid wearing dark colors during the heat of the summer). They had this lack of a true “away gray” jersey up until 1994 when they switched to their current logo (albeit without the color red which was added in 2000).

On a side note, I actually had a replica tequila sunrise Astros jersey as a kid. I’m not exactly sure why, but my dad, as noted earlier, had eclectic uniform tastes so he probably bought it for me because it was so strange looking. I outgrew the jersey by the time I left for junior high and it is probably long since given away to Goodwill, but it’s hard not to remember it. In fact, I was pretty well decked out as a kid in the baseball jersey department. I also remember having a replica home Cubs jersey and a green A’s jersey. Probably a good reason I’m uniform obsessed today.

So there is your baseball uniform history lesson for the day.

(Drawings courtesy of the Baseball Hall of Fame's Dressed to the Nines)

Little Help?

Can anyone tell me why ESPN is showing College Football Live right now? It's fucking May. Spring ball is over right now. The draft is long since gone. What the hell is the point?

Oh, I see......it's Notre Dame week. Besides Regis and Lou Holtz, does anybody give a shit about ND football? I don't, and because I don't I will now change the channel.

ggrrrrr

Three Thursday "What the Fucks?"

Here's the first of what may never be a series of installments I like to call "What the fucks?" Without further adieu.....

1. A couple nights ago ESPN 2 was showing Super Bowl XXX2. Nope, I don't know why, and I didn't watch it.

2. The St. Louis Cardinals have like 8 outfielders........but no closer. Here's an idea: trade one of those 8 outfielders, so you can give the guys deserving of 450-600 ABs ABs, for a closer. So then you have a closer, cause those are good. And shit....throw in Skip Shumaker too so that you can get a real second baseman. Oh, and call up Joe Mather out of sheer principle (I went to middle school with him and his dad was a bit too "friendly" with the 7th grade girls he taught, if you know what I mean). He's got power, and a sicko dad who never taught again and had to move to Arizona after that all went down. Although his dad said that it would be good to have me (a tall, lanky, left hander) pitching for the high school team (he was the coach). Unfortunately my coaches never taught me how to throw a breaking ball, or even how to grip a changeup. Thus....my complete shelling at the hands of the Bonners Ferry High School Badgers during my freshman year. Yep, never pitched again. You could say I was effectively wild, but there was nothing effective about it. Would have helped to have a curveball that was also non-effectively wild.

3. Todd Bertuzzi is in the NHL? Didn't fucking kill a guy on the ice? Or maybe paralyze the dude? Oh well, him and the Flames won last night, so I'm down with that.

Girls of March Madness

With the NCAA men’s basketball tournament concluding last night with another yawn-fest of a game (it seems like the championship game has become the biggest blowout of the tournament the last couple years, last year’s Memphis collapse withstanding) I thought it would be important to reflect on the most important aspects of the tournament.

Hottest girls of March Madness:

4. Girl from the Lowe’s commercial. There’s something about the way those khaki pants fit her in the back, if you know what I mean.



3. USC Song Girl cheerleaders. Thank God Tim Floyd remained at SC if only to keep the Trojans tournament regulars for years to come.















2. UCLA cheerleaders. The Song Girls may be tops in football, but when it comes to the hardcourt no one does it better (heh heh, he said hard).















1. The redhead from the Enterprise Rent-A-Car commercials. That look she gives when she asks, “Red or black (lingerie)?” is mesmerizing. Unfortunately her dolt of a husband gives the wrong answer. The correct answer is “Neither because we’re not going to need clothes where we’re going.” Then just bring one of your baseball jerseys or a button up shirt and that’s all that’s needed for a sexy weekend with the misses.















Who am I missing?

Stupid Clark Kellogg Quote of the Night

These two beauties courtesy of legendary CBS basketball colorman Clark Kellogg from tonight's NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game:

1. North Carolina is a great example of team spurtability.

2. Tyler Hansbrough just gave that guy a lower body root canal.

God, Clark Kellogg's a dumbass.

Suck on it Memphis and Kentucky

Looks like the #1 high school basketball prospect Xavier Henry, who had signed with Memphis, will now almost certainly sign with KU next year as a result of Calipari taking the Kentucky job. Damn, we are going to be awesome next year.

The Khalid El-Amin award goes to...

And this year's "Khalid El-Amin Award" for the pudgy, bitchy, Big East point guard everybody hates, but somehow manages to make big plays in the clutch goes to...Levance Fields of Pitt.

I swear it's like El-Amin was reincarnated. Are we sure he didn't just grow out his hair and assume a fake name to get 4 more years of college eligibility?

come on memphis

cause if you don't win, my bracket is a: really fucked (because I have the Tigers in the final), and b: mizzou, heated rival of my KU Jayhawks will still be alive.

i survived a good scare from Pitt (I have them winning) for the third time.

Allison Hannigan....

.....turned 35 yesterday. Really? Damn. It doesn't seem that long ago that Hubka was completely in love with her character Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She certainly didn't seem old then, but then again, that was like 10 years ago.

While searching for a picture, I have discovered that she is knocked up. Congratulations I guess.

How does this work exactly?

Look I know this is about women's basketball so no one cares, but I couldn't help but wonder while I watched the highlights last night on SportsCenter: how exactly does the NCAA women's basketball tournament get away with letting a 9 seed host a 1 seed in the 2nd round? How did Duke not get to host being a 1 seed? This type of thing would never happen in the men's tournament and the advantage for Michigan St is pretty clear. I guess one of the reasons that women's basketball isn't taken as seriously.

My draft strategy just took a major hit

Sal Fasano, a Colorado Rockie? You know what this means, I'll be taking Sal Fasano and his glorious moustache in the 21st round of the fantasy draft on Friday.

attn: CBS

Stop sucking. I realize I live in Big 12 country, but really, do I want to watch A&M stick it to BYU? It's a 16 poitn game, so why would I be interested in watching that when I could be seeing Memphis tied up with the Cal State Northridge Matadors, or could be watching Butler come storming back from getting hit right in the mouth by LSU.

screw you cbs

DJ the Hammer's Bracket....

Via email, here is the Hammer's bracket....

You know I am a Pac-10 homer so I have USC winning 3 games, Zona ASU and Washington all winning 2, Cal winning 1 and I have VCU beating UCLA in the first round. That Manor kid from VCU is very good.

My final four is Louisville, Pitt, Memphis and Oklahoma with Oklahoma beating Louisville in the final.

I have all 4 #9s winning. I have Western Kentucky and Utah St winning as well.

I too have Zaga beating UNC. I have Oklahoma winning the whole thing so UNC would lose in the next round anyway assuming I am correct and I don't trust Roy Williams and Lawson's toe. We will see. It will be fun to watch.

I also have Huggy and WVU beating Kansas in the second round. Too much D from WVU and I think Kansas is too young.

Fish's Bracket

Here’s my Final Four: Pitt, Ok, Memphis, Louisville, with Pitt over Memphis in the final.

Note on the Pac 10 (Maybe underrated this year): I’ve got USC pulling the upset on BC (always got to take the 10s over the 7s), although I couldn’t bring myself to have Arizona winning, or Cal (because they are a 7). But ASU winning in the first day. Harden is a beast.

My stupid upset: Portland State over Xavier (go Vikings, and I've got to represent my former town)

Note on the weak ass Big 10: (and no, I have no idea how they got 8 teams, stupid) I have Michigan State going out early to KU (and yes I'm a Jayhawk, so there's that), Purdue winning one game, but only because they're playing N Iowa, Michigan pulling the upset on Clemson (because they're the 10, and I like them), Illinois wins one game before losing to my Zags, and all the other teams losing out. I'd like to see Tubby Smith beat Texas, and I think it might happen, but Texas should win, or they'll underachieve like they have all season.

Some keys: I’ve got Duke going out to Nova, because they are douchebags, and I have Gonzaga taking out UNC, because UNC is broken and because I am stupid.

Final score: Pitt 76, Memphis 72.

rumble, let the games begin

One for Hubka

Hubs has got to be proud of his boy Adam Waddell on the UW Cowboys for this awesme dunk. I'm surprised he was able to get back up so quickly.

2 things

1. In case there was any doubt, you can never go wrong with Morehead. Yes! My bracket is still perfect.

2. Suck on that bottom of the 9th rally Puerto Rico. That's what you get for trying to beat your mother country and for also those horrible Best Buy ads. Bow down and obey.

I've Got to get to Best Buy

Ok, so I've got the World Baseball Classic on right now,* but when the game's done, I'm going to rush over to Best Buy to go buy something. I don't know what it is I'm going to buy, but I know I've got to get there. Why, you ask? It's because Puerto Rico baseball** has apparently decided that they need money, because they are sporting fetching advertisements for Best Buy with a path on their left sleeve.

Horrible. Horrendous (just like my spelling). Ugly, terrible. What the fuck is this, NASCAR? And when was the last time you saw a national (or quasi national team) wear an ad on their uniforms? I can't think of any. I don't think this would be much of a problem if this was MLB or something, but having an ad on a national uniform just seems sleazy. I know the economy is bad, but damn. What, is nobody drinking Puerto Rican rum these days? One would think if the economy was so bad Puerto Rico had to whore their uniforms out to Best Buy that everybody would be drinking their rum. But I guess I'm wrong.

And since I couldn't find a picture of said ugly uniforms, here's something that should inspire you all to go and sign up for a Best Buy credit card and buy a ridiculously huge tv and home hi fi system.....

* no, I don't know why - actually it's on while I'm listening to a great avant garde jazz CD I just got in the mail for free today, can't beat that, and one of the reasons I have the tv sound off is because Rick Sutcliffe is the color commentator, ugh, but I digress

** and no, I don't think they should be allowed to field their own teams in international competition, seeing as how they are one of the U.S.'s still remaining colonial possessions

Another one for the Who Fucking Cares?/Mel Kuiper Jr. is a Douchebag Categories

Ok, so a few days ago as I was leaving to let my dog out to take a dump and right before I turned off the tv, I heard the following teaser for the upcoming 6pm ET sports center: "Stay tuned to find out who Mel Kuiper Jr. says what player in the upcoming NFL draft most reminds him of Terrel Suggs."

Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even know who Terrel Suggs is. Best I can guess is defense? And if I did know, I still wouldn't even fucking care. As far as having the most useless knowledge, nobody can top Mel Kuiper Jr., and really I don't think that's a category one should be proud to be at the top of. Abso-fucking-useless. He should put that totally awesome fake hair to good use, by I don't know, cutting it all off and throwing it in his mouth with the hope that he chokes to death on it.

Here's a Sports Center teaser I'd actually be interested in hearing: "Stay tuned to hear what ridiculously hot and smart woman with legs up to her ears wants to shack up with Fish."

Teaser 1b: "Stay tuned to hear your options for how you'd like to see Mel Kuiper Jr. get fired and then devolve into deeply self destructive alcoholism. Text message your vote now!"

Ayn F'ing Rand

She is now being quote on Fox News. Atlas Shrugged was everything South Park made it out to be.
Seriously though Rand though not a great writer had her moments and why Atlas Shrugged was a totally biased and long winded attack on Communism/ Socialism it did have the the advantage of not being authored by Fox News. "Going Galt" should not be a phrase battling efforts to combat the total fail of uncontrolled capitalism; instead "Who is John Galt?" Should be a struggle against totalitism. We should at least have read the book (disclaimer I shipper 60 or so pages of John Galts 90 page speech, I think it just repeated itself every 5 pages spoiler alert communism is bad, come on I read the other 1,100 or so pages) before we start quoting it.
I know researching our news stories is too much to ask but please; that is the difference between blogging, (what I am doing now) and real reporting. I work in retail grocery and bitch on the world wide web. I don't call myself a reporter and neither should anyone at Fox News. (And for that matter ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and onward.) We should demand more from our news. Our most researched new should not be from Comedy Central. Sadly Ayn Rand and John Galt would be ashamed and if at this late hour my mind does not fail me Eddie Willards would be ashamed for he is the real hero of that book.
E

damn you hubka

I've had a serious jonesing for Jack In the Box for months. The nearest one is 4 hours away. Me and a buddy from California have talked about making the trip to St. Louis more than a couple times.

Meaty Cheesy Boys

I've had this jingle in my head for the last month (explanation can be found over at my blog) and thought others would appreciate the trip down memory lane.

Five thoughts on wrestling and girls

Click below to read the original newspaper article for background and the blog post response I reference in my take.

http://www.startribune.com/sports/40691197.html

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1664_over_my_dead_body_son/

1. Honestly, I didn’t realize this was still an issue. It seems archaic to me. I remember it being a hot topic in my early adolescent days when I was still reading SI for Kids. I’ve never personally met any female wrestlers. I never wrestled, not even in junior high so all my opinions and thoughts are by a complete outsider and require an exercise in imagination to a certain degree. Good for Elissa Reinsma for being the first girl in Minnesota to compete in the state high school wrestling tournament. But the uproar (and it could be an isolated uproar from the minority, but it caught my eye nonetheless) around it seems misplaced or past its time. Isn’t this like being pissed at Willie Mays in 1957 because he’s black when the color barrier was broken a decade prior?

2. The blog I linked to is by a published author that I respect. I learned a lot from reading his book, Knowing God. Having said that, I completely disagree with his opinion on this matter. One of the biggest problems is his religious status within the American Christian community. He is looked to for guidance and information on spiritual issues. I mean the title of his blog is “Desiring God”. The problem is his opinion can be too easily associated with a perceived notion of God’s opinion. He doesn’t explicitly say, “God has told me that no man should wrestle a woman,” but it’s easy to make that assumption. And I don’t agree that Biblically, spiritually, or religiously there is something preventing a man from wrestling a woman in equal combat.

3. I have no qualms with Piper’s assertion that men should honor women and that generally as a society we fail at that. I agree it is a father’s responsibility to teach his son the proper way to behave toward and around girls. But the problem I have is that wrestling a girl somehow breaks the rule of what is considered appropriate behavior toward girls. There are rules we follow in everyday life that do not apply during athletic competition. You teach your children it is not okay to hit others. But in boxing and football intentional physical contact are foundational aspects of the competition; the rule against hitting isn’t applicable in those situations. The rule becomes modified to the situation – it is now not acceptable to hit someone after the bell or below the belt or with a purposeful intent to harm them. Thus while it is important to teach our kids rules, it is equally important to teach them how to analyze a situation and make adjustments. In everyday life it is important to honor women: to not physically harm them, to not inappropriately touch them, to be respectful of their space and their identity. But on an athletic field, when a woman has decided of her own free will to compete against men, those same rules should be modified. If you are wrestling a girl you must still honor and respect her, but the same touch prohibitions are out the window. It now becomes a matter of intent. Do not touch a girl during the course of a match in anyway that you wouldn’t touch a male opponent. It’s a simple adjustment to the rule, but it still honors the girl and what she is trying to accomplish.

4. Piper attempts to make refusing to wrestle girls not seem like a sexist act, but his argument backfires when he brings sexuality into it. This paragraph gives it away:

Get real, dads. You know exactly what almost every healthy boy is thinking. If a
jock from Northern Minnesota encircles her around the breasts and twists his leg
around her thighs, trust me, he will dream about that tonight. Only in his dream
she won’t have clothes on. And if he doesn’t dream it, half the boys in the
crowd will. Wake up dads. You know this.

All of a sudden wrestling is sexual in nature. Men shouldn’t wrestle women because they may or may not enjoy it in a sinfully sexual way or they might cause other men watching to do so. But whey does wrestling all of a sudden become a metaphor for man’s sexual desires when it involves a woman and not when it’s two dudes rolling around the mat, squeezing each other between their legs and pressing their genitalia against one another. If Piper’s argument is correct then the same wrestlers should refuse a match with a homosexual opponent because rules are rules regardless of the situation (see point # 3 above).

5. To me the whole article is insulting to me as a man, (pseudo)athlete, and father of a daughter. I know as much as anyone that sexual urges are hard to control. It’s easy to fantasize and lust after attractive members of the opposite sex. If anything we are over-stimulated, sexually, as a society. I could stand to see less skimpy-dressed models on TV cavorting around and using their sexuality to schill some product. But to assume that as a man I am a slave to those desires is wrong. It’s difficult, but give me some credit.

Especially if I am on the athletic field. I’ve played against numerous girls over the years. Being generally one of the shorter players on the court in basketball I’m more often than not matched up with the other team’s girl to play defense. It wouldn’t matter who it was once play starts because at that point all I’m concerned about is: a) not being humiliated by a girl, and b) not being freaking humiliated by a girl. Is that a sexist thought? Most definitely. But it’s not sexual. There is a difference.

As the father of a little girl I am most disappointed for the female wrestler. I doubt she wanted any controversy, she probably just wanted to compete. She is matched with wrestlers of similar weight. She practices and trains just like all the other boys. She wanted to wrestle. How is it honoring her by denying that wish? How is it respectful to her to tell her she can’t compete against you because she has breasts and a vagina? If my daughter someday wants to wrestle, play baseball, or football I hope the other schools see her not as a girl, but as an opponent, an adversary, one just as worthy of good sportsmanship and respect as a guy.

Last House on the Left

I've seen the original Last House on the Left, so I know how it ends. I also know how the remake ends because I went and saw the remake of Friday the 13Th, (I'm lucky enough to have a girl friend who shares my love of crappy horror movies). Seriously the preview of your movie shouldn't include the ending. Same f'ing thing for Quarantine. Just a hint if your movie is supposed to be suspenseful maybe you shouldn't ruin that before you get people to pay to go see it. (Full disclosure I am an idiot and am still planning to pay to see the new Last House on the Left.) Last but not least, I hate you Michael Bay, I truly hate you, you ruin everything you ever touch, I hope you die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
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Why the WBC is worthless.

Starting Shortstop for the United States team in the WBC? Derek Jeter
Derek Jeter's VORP (offensive value over replacement player) last two year? 48.7 34.1
His WARP( wins offensive + defensive over replacement level)? 3.5 2.5
His defensive efficiency? (0 being average) -18, -12
Jose Reyes VORP? 46.9, 62.6
His WARP? 6.7, 5.8
His defensive efficiency? 8, -11
Jimmy Rollings VORP? 68.0, 44.4
His WARP? 8.0, 5.2
His defensive efficiency?8, 4

Who should be the starting shortstop for team USA it depends how much value you put on Jimmy rollings offensive explosion two years ago or Jose Reyes defensive slump last year, the easy answer is anyone but Derek Jeter.

Die newspapers die!

Of course that is German for the newspapers the, and no one who speaks German can be a bad man. A lot has been made about the death of newspapers recently, sadly most of this clamour has been in the sporting press. (I don't know mayor elections or high school sports, what is really more important in life.) To be honest in a pure sports evaluation fuck the newspapers. After "A-Roid" had his steroid test illegally revealed the Seattle papers were flushed with A-roid is the devil/ spawn of all evil/ is the cause of the recession/ voted for Bush not once but twice, stories; is this worth crying over? The sport section of the news paper has been dying for years becoming ever more focused on local sports instead of national sports in a world where roots are meaningless, because people move constantly. I graduated from Fife High School and Linfield College, if either of these schools won a national championship you would have to tell me, because I don't follow them, to steal a phrase from the late Kurt Vonnegut they are grandfaloon's, or false relationships, or worthless.
Long story short (too late I know) newspapers failed because they went to the local well one too many times when people lived in a national or even global world. Give me insight over pandering any day. Which is why is pay for Baseball Prospectus and throw the unread Seattle Post Intelligencer sports section in the trash.
E

Steve Phillips is Useless

So I have Panama vs. Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic on right now, and no, I don't know why. But, in case you didn't know, or needed a reminder, Steve Phillips, aka the Silver Fox, aka he's not good enough to be a G.M. anymore, aka I wish they'd replace him on Baseball Tonight with Harold Reynolds (hey, if Marv Albert can bite a chick and get his job back, certainly Harold Reynolds can come back-somebody's got to put John Kruk in is place), is a completely fucking useless moron.

Exhibit A: Baseball "needs" Ivan Rodriguez and Pedro Martinez. Why does baseball "need" two players past their prime?

Exhibit B: He referred to Puerto Rico as a country. Yes, Puerto Rico gets its own teams in international competition, but Steve, I hate to break it to you, it's not a country.

T.O.'s Recession

“There are several teams that are interested in signing Terrell,” agent
Drew Rosenhaus wrote in a text message Friday to The Associated Press. “I have
been in negotiations with these teams. I will not identify these teams at this
time. Terrell and I expect to have a deal in place by the end of next week if
not sooner.”

This is like trying to check if former Bear Stearns CEO James Cayne has any new job offers by asking his mom; can it be considered newsworthy if the source of the news benefits from it? Cayne and Owens will both have a hard time finding work because of the destruction of their past employers. But if you’re out looking for a job, or negotiating on a house or car, what is your biggest bargaining chip…other offers! Nothing makes you more attractive for employment than competitors trying to secure your services. Nothing makes it easier to buy a house or car than a glut of similar cars and houses on the market that are willing to give you more for less, fabricated or not. Of course there are several teams who want T.O. according to his AGENT, who by the way, will make some decent pocket-change off any of the suckers he snake-charms into believing this.

But back to whether this should have even been reported in the first place: if your source for a story will benefit in any way from the publication of the news is it ethical to publish it? This is exactly what happens when journalists query a CEO about his company’s fiscal health. The CEO most likely owns a great deal of stock in the company. That stock will rise if his company is given a sound financial prediction. He will make money off it (at least in the form of increased stock prices, it won’t become actual money unless he sells those shares), so why would you ask him how his company is doing? Shouldn’t a second, verifiable source be checked? Like public financial records in the case of corporations or NFL front offices in the case of T.O.

My Baby Brother wrote an interesting blog post about the death of a newspaper we both grew up around. I disagreed with the overall tone and some of his points, but one point he made corresponds well with this type of story: the need for news organizations to fill “space”. In TV news it is air-time, in print media it is number of pages to justify more advertisements. I know there is a concern among news organizations about being scooped by your competition. But the real losers with this kind of reporting is the overall field of journalism, it makes it harder for your competitors to do the right thing and follow-up on a 2nd, corroborating source when you aren’t doing it. But that is the nature of our current culture of information.

In related news, a new study reveals that sexual activity among 16 year old males is at 100% (source: 16 year old males).

Put this one up in the "who fucking cares?" category

The Seinfeld stars are reuniting. On Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I don't think is really that funny. Really, who fucking cares? I don't.

Congrats Bill Self, Yahoo Basketball Coach of the Year

Rock, Chalk Jayhawk.

So people out there might question Bill Self being named the Yahoo! Coach of the Year - because how hard is it to be a good coach when you're the defending national champs? Well, here's Selfs' winning forumla: lose all 5 starters, 80% of your scoring, return with a ridiculously young and inexperienced team, be ranked throughout most of the season, and with a win vs. Texas tomorrow will wrap up the regular season Big 12 Title.

Craig Robinson of Oregon State, and not to mention Michelle Obama's brother (I'm a Beaver Believer) was also a finalist, but OSU might not quite have made enough of a turnaround this year, but lookout next year, as the Beavs will be right there.

Mike Anderson of Mizzou was also a finalist, but being a Jayhawk I have two words: Muck Fizzou. Nuff said.

Someone who wasn't a finalist (although he's a finalist for the Iba award) was Calipari (sorry coach, forgot your first name) from Memphis. He's in the same boat as Self as far as losing most of his talent from last year and then coming back with a vengeance. I wouldn't be surprised if Memphis got a 1 seed this year. There was some talk of KU getting a 1 seed, but that's just plain sillyness, especially after we followed up that royal beat down of Mizzou with an embarrasing lost to atrocious Texas Tech. Nobody who loses to the Red Raiders deserves a 1 seed. I'd be good with a 2 or a 3 in an easy bracket.

And I'm out (and I apologize for the shitty writing - brain is still not warmed up)

Sports Center Stupid Question of the Day

On the 6pm Sports Center today one of their teasers before going to commerical was, and get this: "Does the North Carolina men's basketball team have a weakness?"

My answer: Yes . . . . of course they have weaknesses . . . . they've been beat . . . . . . more than once . . . . . .

Now a team that that question might be relevant would be the 30-0 women's team from UConn. Do they have a weakness? Of course, every team has a weakness, even if they haven't been beat. It might not be a big weakness, or easy exploitable.

Sports Center: stop being stupid. Ask questions that require more than a 3 year old intelligence to figure out . . . . that maybe require "analysts" (if you could call John Kruk an analysit, that is) to answer.

Baseball Uniform Heaven

Sunday afternoon I was trying to finish up some laundry while the little one napped. I came across a college baseball game on Comcast Sports. Granted it wasn't my preferred local team of choice, but I hadn't watched live, competitive baseball in 4 months and I love college baseball, so I was hooked.
I've made my distaste for Oregon's new baseball uniforms clear, so I was shocked at the beauty I was presented with during Sunday's game. Oregon was wearing some alternate uniform combination-- college teams have so many (that's 7 different jerseys for South Carolina in the background of this photo) that it's hard to say it is "Alternate 1" or "Home-Sunday Alternate" or something like that--but it was beautiful.
Let me back up for a second. I haven't put this down in writing, but when it comes to baseball I'm what I would describe as an eclectic traditionalist. What I mean is my favorite styles of baseball uniforms are more traditional looks (by styles I'm referring to stripes, cut, font, and design - I'm not a clothes designer so I don't know the field-specific terms so you'll have to follow along as best you can), but with more eclectic combinations. I'm not afraid of baseball teams wearing colors other than white and gray (as many teams in Major League Baseball were afraid to do until recently); heck I'm even for teams wearing colored pants.
That was probably too short an explanation, but it provides some background for my reasoning behind the two things I fell in love with from Oregon on Sunday.
First was the alternate hat they wore (shown below).

It's a thing of beauty. Every time I design the University of Wyoming's baseball uniforms in my head (and when I say 'every time' I'm not talking about once or twice - I think about this once a month or so) their main cap has this same back-ground color pattern, except brown instead of green and white instead of yellow (if you followed that, give yourself a high five). When UW cut their college baseball program in the early 90's my allegiances switched to Wichita St for a lot of superficial reasons (a. their colors are similar to Wyoming's, b. they have a "W" on their cap, c. they were successful in the College World Series when that was the only college baseball ever shown on television, and d. they were relatively close to Wyoming compared with the other college baseball powers that mostly resided in warm-weather states). So I've always wanted to use the same cap style from the Shockers for Wyoming's imaginary return to the sport. I like this color pattern better than when teams add a different color bill. I'm not sure why more teams don't go this route.
Secondly, was their choice for stockings. In the contemporary baseball world where some players pull their pants down over their socks and the rest all wear solid color socks (like a girls soccer team would wear over their shinguards) it was gloriously refreshing to see actual stirrups being sported by a couple members of the Oregon baseball team (unfortunately I couldn't find any photos online to show you so you'll have to use your imagination). But it wasn't just stirrups - they not only wore green stirrups, but they had on lightning yellow socks underneath to produce an effect similar to this.

I'm pretty sure my obsession with stirrups, and more-to-the-point, multiple stirrups with different color socks underneath, comes from my dad. When I was growing up he was the head coach/GM/uniform supplier/utility-man for my church's softball team. The fact that my dad at the time played for a church softball team might be kind of funny in retrospect, but that's beside the point. When you think of rec-league or church softball it's generally a bunch of guys that look like this. They show up with the same lazily put together t-shirt, but everything else is different. Some wear sweats, some shorts, some even show up in jeans. No one wears the same hat if they wear a hat at all. Don't even begin to think about wearing stirrups. So it was quite extraordinary that my dad, for at least 3 or 4 years, had our church softball team outfitted in baseball-looking uniforms. They had real baseball pants, stirrups, and jerseys complete with logo and number. I wish I had some pictures, but I'll have to do this from memory. My dad fashioned the jersey's based on the 70's Oakland A's and the Baltimore Orioles. Our church's colors were orange and brown (big reason why those are two of my favorite colors still). We had a white jersey that said "Alliance" in brown script and an orange jersey with a stylized "A" logo on the left side (similar to what the Detroit Tigers or Cubs have on their home jerseys); we had white pants and brown pants; we had orange stirrups, brown stirrups, and solid orange socks; and we had two different caps - an all brown model and a white model with an orange front and bill. All these options meant our softball team had 24 different uniform combinations. My dad would sit down prior to the start of the year and plan out what uniforms we would wear for each game taking into consideration not wearing the same combination against the same team twice. It was all really amazing and probably what started my obsession with uniforms. Anyway, I digress. The point of all that was one of the stirrups/socks combinations was brown stirrups over orange socks, which sounds hideous, but I was personally fascinated by. No one in major league baseball wears a combination like this anymore and it is rare to see a team of any level do this.
The uniform combinations Oregon wore were, strangely for a completely new team, nostalgic for me. It made me think of watching Wichita St on my black and white 13 in. tv in my bedroom as they won the CWS. It made me think of watching my dad dressed up in a professional looking baseball uniform, not much older then than I am now, and how much fun it was to watch him play. He was wildly more talented than I am. I remember watching very little of his actual games because as soon as I got to the softball fields I would immediately (in my own rudimentary uniform replicas) take off to play waffle ball with my friends and imagine I was my Dad belting homers, hustling like Pete Rose, and in hindsight, being a little too competitive for church softball.

Manny being Manny, or Scott Boras being Scott Boras

Picking up on a theme I threw down a couple posts ago, I just love Manny. Scott Boras just turned down the Dodgers' last offer of $45 mill over two years with a player only option for the second year. Turned down $45 mill? What world are you living in Boras. Of course Boras has kids to feed, and his 5% or 10% of whatever he gets out of each contract needs to be large enough to feed all those munchkins.

Here's to you Manny and Boras, straight from my Microsoft paint files.....I call it the Manny Salute

Bottom of the bottle

I'm drunk or near enough, and even though I'm sadly a south sound homer, I'll have to say A-Rod has gotten a bad rap. Did he use steroids? Yes. Is this a suprise? No. Did he need to use steriods? No. How many homeruns does this add to his career total? I'm no sabermatician but I'd say 5 to 10. The best part is what I just said has the same scientific basis as what all the holier than now baseball purest have been preaching for the last few weeks. A-rod is an extremely insecure and stupid human being. This is not news. He said he left Seattle and went to Texas to win. Go to Texas to win, unless your last name is Bush that just ain't happening. He gets exposed cheating, (well I guess steroids would of have to have been banned when he took them to say he cheated) and he lies about it. Who doesn't lie when they get caught doing anything? Not politicians, not celebrities, not most non-famous people. So to me A-Rods biggest crime is being famous, and being famous isn't quite against the law yet. Or is it? This is a search for ratings and money not a real news story. A real news story would be exposing the government officials that leaked sensitive material on the condition of secercity so they can retain their access to secret info.
Wait that doesn't make sense.
Sorry I forgot that reason doesn't matter.
Peace and Love,
E

A Roid.......

....is fucked. Looks like his "apology" is full of holes, and his explanation that he took boli because he was under pressure is just stupid. And then crying that the last 15 months has been really hard on him. Fuck you A Roid. You've made half a billion, and you're complaining about how your life is hard? Lots of people go through a divorce, but some people lose a lot of money in the process, don't have any money to begin with, or lose their kids, etc etc. How about all the people who were living month to month for the last 15 months and have now lost their jobs? You're crying because the media has been hard on you? That's what you get for a) going to New York knowing full well what the media and tabloids are like there, and b) accepting half a billion to play a fucking game.

I don't want to hear another apology, another change in your story, more spin, more whining as to why you've had a hard life the last couple years. Maybe I'll respect you more if you use your ridiculously immoral salary to buy people houses, or feed them, or do something worthwhile with your time.

And while I'm at it, Manny: take the 25 million from the Dodgers. Are you fucking kidding me? You turned down 25 million? I know a bunch of guys who would give their left nut, and probably their right nut too, to make the league minimum. Shit, far less than the league minimum.

Manny: you disgust me.

I'm heading down to Circuit City right away!

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

This isn't sports related, but it serves two purposes:
1) This pretty much sums up all electronics that have been released in the last 10 years
2) This is what I imagine the news would look like if Fish and E were in charge.

by David (yep, I'm still signed in as Fish. Don't worry, I'm working on it)

(credit: The Onion)

yes, griffey

This really is Fish. Just like David, I really couldn't say I'm a "real" Mariners fan, only a "kind of" fan because living in North Idaho I didn't really have any options. Yeah, the Twins may be my team, but almost no chance to see them, even on TV, during my time in Idaho and Oregon.

Hearing that Griffey has signed with Seattle has not really made my day at all, because it's really not that earth shattering, but it is good news nonetheless. Because now I will get to see him with the Mariners when they roll into KC. God damn is that going to be a terrible series or what? Two shitty teams going head to head in like 100 degrees with high humidity. But I'll be there, chearing for an old and just about used up Ken Griffey Jr., the greatest player of his generation.

Griffey

Admittedly I am not a Mariners fan. I don't really follow them with the same passion or connection (however real or fake) that a real fan does (or would). But ever since word leaked last week that the Mariners were in the hunt to sign Ken Griffey Jr as a free agent, I found myself unexplainably excited. I basically missed Griffey's first stint with Seattle as he left after the 1999 season and I had just moved to the Northwest in 1998; I hadn't yet put down roots or become involved in any of the local teams. So this presented itself as an opportunity to relive that time, what I would guess is the glory days of Mariner baseball.

I'm not naive enough to believe this was anything but a marketing ploy by the team. Griffey isn't the commanding presence in the lineup anymore. He's not going to lead the team to the playoffs by his offensive production. He's being paid basically to draw folks back to the ballpark and wash themselves in the pool of nostalgia. And I don't blame the Mariners for this. I hate, hate, HATE bringing up THE ECONOMY (dun, dun, dunnnnn), but you gotta do what you gotta do to try and remain viable with the current state of things today. If that means bringing back a past-his-prime ballplayer to wring a few more dollars out of ticket sales, then by all means. I know it's worked for me. I haven't bought tickets yet, but before the Griffey signing I wasn't planning on making a trip to Safeco this year. Now, I am instinctually drawn, like wanting to catch a Merle Haggard concert before he fades away into old age or a museum exhibit before it is shuttered to the public.

So as a non-Mariners fan who happens to live in Mariner country, this is happy news. There are grumblings out there, probably among the real fans, that this does nothing for the team and may even set them back. But I don't care. I'm just here to catch a farewell performance.

by David (I know it says it's by Fish, but I accidentally signed in under his name, sorry)

Brett Favvvree

If Bret Favre decides to go back on his decision to retire again, he will no longer be one of my favorite NFL players of all time. I loved watching him (except for the last 3 years or so) because he had so much fun playing. But now he's just annoying. Stay away Favre. I don't want to see you throw 35 picks next year.

Did I miss when Ryan Howard became a free agent.

Ryan Howard just signed a 3 year $54 million contract. That is an average salary of $18 million per year. Ryan Howard had two arbitration years left. Am I missing something here; perhaps Howard having photos of Ruben Amaro Jr. with a male prostitute?


The arbitration process is meant to limit player compensation before free agency, with the player getting approximately 40% of his value in year one 60% in year two and 80% in year three. Using that guide the Phillies are paying Howard the equivalent of $45 million dollars in 2009. The deal looks slightly better if we take it as a whole with players in arbitration usually taking a 10% discount on long term deals. That makes this deal equivalent to $20 million per year, now that doesn't' quite sound as bad.


The problem is that according to FanGraphs Ryan Howard has been worth over $20 million just once in his career and that was back in 2006. In 2007 Howard was worth $17 million, and last year he was worth $14 million. You don't have to be a Harvard grad to see this trend is heading in the wrong direction. All of Howard's relevant production stats are going down. His OPS + has gone fro 167 to 144 to 124 during that span, while his OBP has dropped from 425 to 392 to 339. At his peak as a 26 year old superstar with power and patience, but no defensive value Howard was possibly worth $18 million a year. Now two years into his decline phase Howard is a one dimensional slugger whose failure to make consistent contact raises concern.


Pat Burrell is getting less for two years than Ryan Howard is getting per year, and Burrell was worth the same as Howard last year. Over the next 3 years the Phillies will be paying Ryan Howard and Raul Ibanez a combined $28 million a year. This is a bad deal for the Phillies, their payroll has now soared above $100 million when many other teams have started to cut back. The Phillies still don't have a third basemen and strong back of the rotation, or an A-list outfielder, and over the next few years with most other teams having more financial flexibility there is no reason to think they will be acquiring one.

Really?

NASCAR? Already? Surely you can't be serious. Why is it that the sports I care about least (ok, that's too nice, let's try "disdain") happen to have a) the shortest off season, and b) never ending annoying discourse?

damn you Gonzaga

I was totally hyped to watch the Gonzaga/Memphis game tonight. But it turned into a laugher soon after tip off (which is good because it gave me time to work on my lecture about John Locke's Second Treatise of Government for the class I have to teach on Monday) and was just really shitty until about 6 minutes left. The Zags were down by like 26 points, but they made a run with 5 guys mostly from their second unit and went on a good run. Just like from the song "Cocaine Blues" they made a good run, but they run too slow, and the clock ran out on them. So instead of watching a good performance from the Zags tonight, the only thing worth while, besides Josh Heytfelt's huge oop dunk near the end, were the Gonzaga cheerleaders. So, without further adieu.....

Doug's Hot Dog Cart Is Here - Watch Yourselves

Welcome to the new sports blog that probably will have lots of stuff that doesn't have to do with sports. I'm Fish, aka Faz-noosh, and I'm joined by my peeps from Linfield: DJ the Hammer, aka the Fantasy Czar, aka Stacy (I haven't actually asked if he wanted to be a part of this blog, just assuming here); Hubs, aka Race Car Dave; and E, aka the Baseball Czar, aka young Peter Gammons.

First KU (my future alma mater) shout out: Congratulations to the women's KU 200M freestyle relay A team for breaking the KU and Robinson Natatorium Records this morning against Iowa State in a time of 1:32.27. Way to go Maria Mayrovich, Iuliia Kuzhil, Danielle Herrman, and my former student Amanda Maez. KU beat Iowa state 182 to 113 on Senior Day. Check out today's results here. Last night's results can be found here. Rock Chalk Jayhawk.